Havisham, Diva, has been schooling me on Israeli men. Now, we’ve moved to practical dating advice, and I am having one of those, “Oh FUCK! I learned today that, for Israeli standards, I am obsessive and a doormat.
At the core of this is the complete lack of anything like honor and basic courtesy.
Before anyone accuses me of antisemitism, be mindful that I am aware that the U. predominantly non Jewish, is where a lot of this crap originated.
It’s just that here, because it’s a small country, any upset in the balance of Nature becomes a disaster very quickly. Somehow, the infrastructure hasn’t collapsed yet, but I am guessing this is only because there are enough Russians and others from former Soviet countries here who do have some idea of a civil society, and why it’s not a good idea to let the water and sewage system go too far into disrepair.
What I am trying to say is that Israel is not just not a western society. Most of the problems from the government down to the treatment of workers are because there is no such thing here as a social contract, neither explicit nor implied. Were it not for them, I am pretty sure this would be an Arab country.
I should probably have known what was wrong with this place from the fact that people think Russians and Ukrainians are crazy.
Indeed many of them cope with life here in ways that are very understandable, but sometimes very harmful or at least counterproductive. In this context, I would like to inform any civil women out there who are single and coming to this hell hole to turn back now unless they are willing to be callous enough to take the following advice… In the category of things I wish I knew 10 years ago, I have been informed that one is not actually in a relationship with an Israeli man until he has taken her to a romantic “tsimmer” and introduced you to his friends/family as his girlfriend.
This is a place that tries to kill the civility in them, and often succeeds. A tsimmer is basically a theme inn or hotel where a couple spends a sort of romantic spa week or weekend.
There are different kinds, the sexual fantasy oriented, and the romantic.
You are not in a relationship until he has taken you to the romantic sort and made a formal announcement of your status.
By “not in a relationship”, I mean totally not in a relationship.
Whatever rotation or turnover you had when you met the guy should remain the same until he has actually taken you to the tsimmer and announced.