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Talking about things I didn't care about, doing things I didn't necessarily enjoy, and making myself appear "normal" when I'm so clearly anything but.
As I got older, I learned to embrace more of what made me unique and different, and learned how to be more of myself and exist in a space of truth and authenticity alongside everyone else.
Yet, despite all the work I've done, there are still moments where the feeling of not belonging anywhere or with anyone is all consuming.
It happens randomly, usually when I'm in a group of people, whether friends or family, who are having a good time.
There will be a conversation and laughter, and I may even be enjoying myself...
until all of a sudden I'm not, because I'm acutely aware of the truth: I don't fit here.
Mostly, though, it's that I realize I'm not living a life in full alignment with my truth.
Because, if I was, I would be somewhere else, having a different conversation, with a different set of people, and showing up more fully and completely as me.
I've done a lot of work over the years to align my life, relationships, and work with my truth, passions and purpose.
I've made major shifts, had hard conversations, and have pushed myself in ways that stretched me to tears.
I've aligned, shed, grown, shifted, created, released, healed and cultivated.